38: Don't Feel Guilty About Networking For Your Career

38: Don't Feel Guilty About Your Networking 
 

[00:00:00] I'm sure I don't need to tell you that the job market for mid and senior-level leaders is slow.  

In an environment like this, career advancement isn't going to be found through job postings and applications. It's going to be found through connections, and the only way to tap into those connections is by leveraging your existing network and then expanding it. And that means you're going to have to engage in a little networking. 

I feel like every time I say that word, networking, it should be followed by some kind of ominous cord. So many people I work with, and maybe you, too, hate to even think about it, let alone do it. And if you're able to get over your initial fear of networking, then the guilt you're bound to feel when you actually start reaching out to people, it can stop you in your tracks. After all, you're going to be asking for something from a lot of people and potentially offering nothing to them in return. 

You'll [00:01:00] essentially be bothering people or so you think, and it makes you feel, in a word, guilty. 

But what if I told you that you don't need to feel guilty? What if I told you that you do have something to offer and that just by doing your networking and following through on it, you're going to be helping other people? 

Would that make it easier? 

I think it would, but you're going to have to do your networking the right way. 

Stay tuned. 

[00:02:00] Before I started working with people on their careers, I was a recruiter at a top executive search firm, a professional networker you could say. And at first I also felt guilty about reaching out to busy, important people who weren't necessarily planning their days around hearing from me. 

But I got over it and it was because of something I noticed happening again and again that completely changed how I thought about networking. 

If you do it right, when you reach out to people in your network, you're ultimately going to prompt them to reach out to people in their network. These people are typically friends and former colleagues that your networking contacts might not have been in touch with for months or even years. 

I realized that when I was networking as an [00:03:00] executive recruiter, I was actually serving as a catalyst to strengthen connections among people in the industry I served. 

I started thinking about my networking as a public service, and you can too. 

Start your networking with someone you know well and are comfortable talking with. And remember, it only takes one person to get started. At the end of your conversation, ask that person the following: 

Now that you know all of this, who else do you think I should speak with?

Keep your referral request light and general, so the person you're engaging with doesn't get anxious or feel like you're relying on them and them alone to find your next gig. Once they come up with a name or two, either in that conversation or when you follow up with them, be sure to ask them one more critical question: 

Would you mind letting them know I'm going to be in touch? [00:04:00] Or if you're comfortable with it, you could introduce us via email or LinkedIn, and I can take it from there. 

More often than not, the person you're speaking with will want to reach out to their contacts first. They'll want to give them a heads up as a courtesy. 

You go from being someone who is asking for a favor to the person who is prompting them to reconnect with old friends and former colleagues. 

So, your networking contact reaches out to their contact and you get the all clear to move ahead. You follow up, and once you do, this is what you're likely going to hear: 

Oh yeah. She said you might be in touch. You know, it was so nice to hear from her. We hadn't talked in over a year, or maybe it was two. I didn't realize she had gotten a new job and that her oldest son had started college. I told her about my new job and my kids, [00:05:00] my oldest kid actually just started college too. It was so great to catch up with her. 

And that's usually followed by a warm and glowing: 

Now, how can I help you?

And they really do want to help you, because you've already helped them just by asking for an introduction. Without you, it might have been another year or two before your networking contacts were in touch again. Or maybe never. You were the person who reconnected friends who had fallen out of touch. 

That's not something to feel guilty about. That's something to feel good about. 

Every time you reach out to someone and then ask for a referral, you're not just helping yourself, you're strengthening the connections between the people in your community and industry. 

Everyone benefits, including you. 

So the next time you're hesitating over a networking request, wondering if you'll [00:06:00] be bothering someone, remember that you're probably doing them a favor, and by doing them that favor, you'll be absolved of all, or well, at least most of your guilt.