Sept. 12, 2025

35: The Most Counterintuitive Networking Strategy

What if one of your most effective networking strategies could be relying on your competitors to be your advocates? Host Doug Lester explains why this actually works, based on his experience as an executive recruiter at a top firm. And he offers a few tips for doing it the right way.

What if one of your most effective networking strategies could be relying on your competitors to be your advocates? Host Doug Lester explains why this actually works, based on his experience as an executive recruiter at a top firm. And he offers a few tips for doing it the right way.

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00:00 - Introduction

01:01 - Why you don't need to worry about 'the competition'

01:25 - Reasons people say no to executive recruiters

02:42 - Why your competitors will be your advocates

03:58 - Develop a networking strategy that includes 'the competition'

04:18 - Target both reach and frequency

05:09 - Get your messaging right

07:11 - Don't forget about reciprocity

07:42 - Sign up for a Career Strategy Session with Doug

WEBVTT

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What if I told you that one of the best ways to get noticed by recruiters is to network with your competitors and let them be your advocates.

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And by your competitors, I mean the other people in your profession who are approximately at your level and doing a job similar to your own.

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I know, it seems like bad advice.

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How will cozying up to your competitors actually help you?

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Aren't they trying to get noticed by the very same corporate and executive recruiters that you are?

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I am gonna tell you why you don't need to worry about the competition.

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You don't need to worry about your competitors, because they don't want the job.

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Let me repeat that.

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They don't want the job.

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I worked for several years as a senior recruiter at a top executive search firm filling quite a few attractive roles in my industry of focus.

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And the funny thing about it was that the vast majority of the potential candidates I reached out to, they just weren't interested.

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You don't need the most expansive imagination to figure out why.

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Here's some of the most common reasons the people I reached out to gave for saying,"No thanks." I have a great job now and I'm not ready to leave it.

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I think I'll be up for a promotion soon, and I'd like to get that title on my resume first.

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My spouse or my partner has a job they really like, and they wouldn't wanna move right now.

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My teenage kids have good friends and are doing well in school, and I just don't want to upset the apple cart.

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I wouldn't wanna move so far away from my parents who are getting older and may need my help.

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That sounds like a great opportunity, Doug, but it just doesn't feel like the right one for me.

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You get the idea for one or more of potentially countless reasons, the competition won't be interested in what a recruiter has to offer.

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Here's why your competitors will gladly be your advocates in that kind of situation.

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Think about what happens when they're not interested.

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The recruiter as a next step pushes for referrals, and your competitors will want to provide those referrals to be helpful.

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After all, they want the recruiter to call back again at some point.

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Things may and probably will change at some point down the road, and all those reasons your competitors currently have for turning down the recruiter's opportunities may evaporate.

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Your competition, may want or need a new job at some point in the future.

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And they value the relationship with the recruiter, so they naturally see the benefit of building some goodwill now when they're in a position of strength.

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And the best way to build goodwill with a recruiter is to provide a solid referral or two, or maybe even three.

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And when your competitors are making those referrals, you want to be one of the first people that comes to mind.

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And the only way you will be is if they, number one, remember you, and number two, know that the recruiter's opportunity is one you might be interested in.

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So your assignment is a simple one.

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Develop a manageable networking strategy that's focused on your competition.

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Cultivate a list of colleagues who are likely to be on a recruiter's contact list when the recruiter is filling roles you'd potentially be interested in.

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These colleagues should be in similar roles to yours and in the same or similar industries.

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Shoot for both reach and frequency, just like an advertising campaign, and make sure you get the messaging right.

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In terms of reach and frequency, how many people do you think you'd be able to stay in touch with on at least an annual basis?

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Staying in touch can mean grabbing a meal, a coffee or a drink, a 10 to 15-minute phone or Zoom chat, a substantive email or text exchange.

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You name it.

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The frequency and mode of communication will vary by person and the nature of your relationship with them.

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Find a secure place to maintain that list of people and, at a minimum, set a regular reminder to be in touch with each of them on a cadence you think makes sense and is practical given your work and life obligations.

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Your system doesn't need to be overly complicated.

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In terms of messaging, be sure to weave three key points into your conversations.

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Role, context, and impact.

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This is what your competitors will need to know about you in order to refer recruiters your way.

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And here are the specifics on each.

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The first is what kind of role would you consider next?

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If you don't know the exact titles, what are the key activities you'd want to be engaged in on a daily or a weekly basis?

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In terms of context, which one is the right one for you?

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What kind of product or service do you want to be working on?

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What is the company's ideal size or stage?

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Where is it located physically, or is it distributed or entirely virtual?

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What kinds of people do you work best with?

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Don't worry about having a target list of actual companies.

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A lot of people get hung up on this one.

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Just provide enough context so that your competitors will be able to make the connection to you when opportunities are presented to them by recruiters.

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And finally, what impact do you want to have in your work?

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As a recruiter, I was usually looking for someone who would have a specific kind of impact or help a client organization overcome a particular challenge.

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What kind of impact do you hope to have in your next role?

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Do you want to push the boundaries with a new technology?

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Do you want to help an organization be more effective and efficient?

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There aren't any limits here.

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Just make sure whatever you communicate is authentic and reflects the work you'd actually like to do and the life you'd like to live.

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Of course you don't wanna arrive at a networking conversation with an obvious list to present.

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That could be more than a little tedious, let's face it.

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Instead, incorporate these ideas that I've suggested into your vision when you're talking or musing about your future with your contacts.

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And don't forget reciprocity.

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Make sure you have an understanding of these same three points about your competitors, or let's start calling them your colleagues.

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Ask your colleagues where they see themselves in the future and the kind of work they might be doing.

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Take a few notes during or after the conversation.

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After all, the next time a recruiter calls, you might not want the job, and you'll want the goodwill earned by offering up a few solid referrals.

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If you're not entirely sure what your ideal role, context and impact might be, consider signing up for a Career Strategy Session with me at careernarratives.com/strategy.

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I work one-on-one with a limited number of ambitious professionals, helping them craft their narratives and advance their careers.