17: Get More People to Say "Yes" to Your Networking Requests

0:00 So you're networking for a job and you're reaching out to people to get a little time on their calendars. And you're finding that the number of people who respond and are willing to set aside that time for you is lower than you'd like. It can be discouraging, and networking can feel like a lot of effort for not much result. You're not alone. Even when I was a recruiter at a well known and respected executive search firm, I found that my yield for outgoing messages and calls was sometimes lower than I would have liked. But there's a pretty simple way to improve your yield, and it's all in the setup. Stay tuned, and I'll share a two-point strategy I picked up as an executive recruiter that you can apply to your own networking.

1:25 I'm recording this episode in the summer, which is a great time to do some low pressure networking for your career. So I'm doing a mini-series on networking strategy, and as I pointed out in episode 15, the summer can be a good time to get on people's calendars. They typically have fewer meetings. There are fewer deadlines looming, and they're generally a little more relaxed and willing to talk about something other than their most pressing project. When I was working as a recruiter in a top executive search firm, my colleagues and I would look forward to the summer, when the client service demands of our searches were lower, and we could catch up on, or even get ahead of the game, on the networking involved in assembling solid candidate pools for our clients.

2:13 But even when the people we might be reaching out to in our existing network and beyond might have had lighter schedules and presumably more time to speak with us, they still could be reluctant to set that time aside if we didn't make it easy for them to say"yes." Making it easy for them to say yes? What does that mean? I learned that it was important not to make the people I was reaching out to for help with my searches feel like I was dumping the full weight of my search in their laps. Meaning they needed to understand before we even got on a call that I wasn't counting on them to have a list of a few potential candidates for my search, or even one.

2:57 When I pinged them, I didn't say, write, or imply in any way,"Hey, I'm working on this great search for my client, and I was hoping you might be able to give me a list of potential star-quality candidates." That would be dumping the full weight of my search in their laps. And frankly, expecting way too much. And to borrow from a completely different setting, that is training classes for my dog, I learned that I should avoid setting my dog up for failure. If I did, like putting her in the situation she wasn't properly prepared or trained for, it was my fault, not hers, when she didn't act or behave in a way I would have wanted her to.

3:42 The same thing applies to networking strategy in executive search and when you're networking for a job. Don't set your networking contacts up for failure. When I was reaching out to people as a recruiter, I would often write or say,"I'm working on this great search for my client and I was hoping to get your perspective on it." That's it. Just get their thoughts. Very general and low pressure. I talk, they listen, they offer an opinion. What could be easier? Anyone can have an opinion. Anyone can be a success at that. They don't need to prepare or have any specific knowledge or training.

4:24 They just need to be open to listening and reacting in the moment. The same thing applies to you when you're networking for a job. You need to make it easy for your networking contacts to say"yes" to your request for a call or a meeting. But instead, I've seen a lot of instances where my clients are reaching out to their networks with highly-specific requests. Requests that include far too much personal background, followed by an ask that could be something like, I'm targeting two companies in a specific city, and I was wondering if you might know anyone in those two companies in that city and be able to introduce me to them." There are a couple of things wrong in this scenario.

5:07 First, networking outreach needs to be brief. Think about it. When you receive a really long email from someone you don't know well, or at all, and they're requesting time on your calendar, doesn't the length of the message give you a sense of how much time the person writing it is going to expect from you in the end? After all, they expect you to make it through their novel length email, so they probably will also expect you to set aside a half hour, or even an hour or more, to hear them out and then share everything you know about everything. So keep it brief. That's a basic courtesy. And by subtly indicating that you won't expect too much time from them by keeping your email or DM brief and to the point, you lower the risk of them saying"no" to your request because they're afraid you might expect too much of a time investment from them.

6:02 Second, it's too easy for the person on the other side of your highly-specific request to honestly answer"no." Chances are, they don't know someone well enough at one of those two companies to provide a referral, or they might not know anyone at all. If that's the case, then you've made the mistake of setting your networking contacts up for failure. Before they even get to the final sentence of your, hopefully, brief message, they already are feeling like they failed you. They won't be able to meet your expectations of them, and they're going to have to tell you that to your face, whether that ends up being real or virtual. People don't like to feel like failures or like they're not being helpful.

6:47 So what do they do? Rather than saying"no" outright to your networking request, they procrastinate and avoid responding to it. So they flag your message to think about it, or they just archive it, or maybe even delete it. And if they do happen to flag it for further consideration, they're unlikely to think of someone new to introduce you to that didn't already come to mind. And they're probably not inclined to do research on your behalf, especially if they don't already know you. So every time they see your flagged message, they feel like a failure all over again. Not a great association.

7:29 And ultimately, they probably just delete your message or allow it to move so far down in their inbox that they might as well have deleted it. So for all your effort, you get radio silence. And it makes you feel like a failure too. Don't do that. Don't set your networking contacts up for failure. Don't set yourself up for failure. Make it easy for the people you reach out to for networking to say"yes." If you haven't already figured it out, here's how. First, keep your outgoing networking messages brief. Three to five sentences should do the trick in most situations. Introduce yourself if the person doesn't already know you.

8:12 If you were referred to your contact, let them know who provided the referral. And then tell them, in very general terms, why you're reaching out. Maybe you're thinking about your next role, or your career strategy. Maybe you're trying to get to know an industry, or you're trying to establish yourself in a new geography. This will, obviously, very much be based on the specifics of your own particular situation. And here comes the second part. Make sure you set them up for success and not for failure. Ask for something they'll be 100 percent confident they can do, without much heavy lifting. Typically, that might be something like,"I've been thinking about my career strategy, and I'd like to run some ideas by you to get your perspective.

9:00 Pretty simple. Again, the specifics of the request may vary according to your personal situation, but there are two components of this ask that are critical. The first is an indication that you're the one doing the heavy lifting. You're the one coming with the ideas. You don't expect them to do any research, work, or even thought in advance. The second is that you only expect the bare minimum from them, an attentive audience for your ideas and their reaction to those ideas. That's it. By doing these two things you're ensuring that your networking contact can be a success and that the person you reach out to can feel like they're helping you.

9:45 You're not asking them for networking contacts they might not have, or a carefully thought through career strategy that's going to solve all of your problems. And when you follow this approach, it will be much easier for them to say"yes" to your meeting request without the potential for them to feel like they're failing you before you even talk to them. What's your experience been? Have you ever intentionally or unintentionally put too much pressure on a networking contact? Have they responded slowly or not at all as a result? If so, then try this two step approach and see if you're more successful at increasing your yield when it comes to networking contacts.

10:28 Keep your initial outreach to a networking contact brief and set them up for success by lowering your implied or your explicit expectations of them. And if you still find that your networking strategy or your larger career strategy isn't quite working for you, sign up for a Career Strategy Session with me at www.careernarratives.com/strategy and we'll get you on the path to networking success and career advancement.