15: How to Get Over Your Fear of Networking

0:00 If you're like most of the people I work with, networking is the part of advancing your career you'd rather avoid. It's something you think, or even know, you need to do, but it's also something that can always be done tomorrow or next week. You've been there, right? And even if you've built up the resolve and the courage to do it, you don't always know how to start. When I first started writing a blog, I thought it would be a good idea to tackle networking strategy and tactics first. It's often the thing my clients have the hardest time with, so I figured it made sense to create a resource that I could refer them to when I wasn't available to help them work through it personally.

0:42 And as you probably know if you listen to this podcast, I worked for almost four years as an executive recruiter, and networking was a big part of my job. Almost every day. So I've got a few things to say about it. I've decided that it's time to approach the topic in some depth in an ongoing series on this podcast. And the timing, well, it couldn't be better. As I'm recording, it's just the beginning of summer. And while you can focus on networking at any time of year, for many people the summer is an ideal time to connect with other people, whether that's for personal reasons or your career.

1:23 Work life tends to move at a slower pace in the summer, with fewer meetings, and people often have more time in their calendars to respond to incoming requests. So why not take advantage of the opportunity? Stick around, if you dare, and we'll tackle one of the toughest career topics of all, networking.

2:22 Networking is at the heart of executive search. It's how executive recruiters find great candidates for their clients, and many recruiters spend most of their time doing it. You may not realize it, but when you're networking for a job, you're doing the same work as an executive recruiter. You're just doing it in reverse. The recruiter has a job and is looking for candidates, and you're a candidate looking for a job. In this multi-part series, I'll share some of the key networking insights I learned as a senior recruiter at a top executive search firm. You'll learn how to apply strategies and methods used by professional recruiters to build and maintain the powerful networks that are the basis and the value of their business.

3:09 Once you're aware of the concepts most executive recruiters already know, you can begin to apply them to your own networking strategy. You'll be able to build confidence, overcome procrastination and make the progress you've always known is necessary to realize your career goals. I'll cover how to overcome your fear of networking, how to target the right people when you're networking, how to make it easy for people to say yes to your networking requests, how to ensure the time you spend on networking is worth it, how to get over networking procrastination by developing a system for it, why you shouldn't feel guilty about networking, how setting attainable networking goals can help you build confidence, and the three things anyone networking for their career needs to have.

3:59 It's quite a bit. But today let's talk about overcoming the fear of networking and why not start by talking about my own fears. I want to share the harrowing details, well, they were harrowing at least to me, of my very first days as a professional networker. It may be some comfort to you that you're not the only one who's been reluctant to make that first contact. Whether you're new to networking or you're just feeling rusty, it can be incredibly easy to procrastinate. I know this from personal experience. Prior to founding Career Narratives and working as an executive and career coach, I worked for almost four years as a senior recruiter at a top 20 search firm.

4:44 And here's my story. My first day on the job as a recruiter was uneventful. I was assigned a search with an important client, and I was encouraged to start, and I'll put this in quotes, networking. Without too much direction, I understood that networking meant calling around to people who were familiar with the industry and the role I was hiring for. The hope was that they would provide feedback, advice, and perspective that would ultimately lead to a pool of well-qualified candidates. It wasn't a complicated or a mysterious process. It was, however, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

5:25 Simply put, I was afraid. I was afraid that no one would return my call. And if someone did return my call, I didn't know enough about the role and my client. I might come across as awkward or uninformed or both. I might embarrass my client and the firm is a result. In that very first call, I thought I might destroy the credibility that I hadn't even had a chance to build as an executive recruiter. Classic imposter syndrome. So I did something easier than networking, and it felt a lot better. I prepared for networking.

6:08 I studied my client's organization and history. I researched the industry and the type of role I was hiring for. I studied the job description and challenge statement the firm had already produced for the role. It all felt very productive for a few days, at least. But at the end of those days, I still hadn't done any networking, and I wasn't any closer to reaching my goal of producing a strong pool of candidates for my client. In order for that to happen, I knew I needed to have people taking or returning my calls. And the phone. It wasn't ringing. At all.

6:48 I finally realized that the phone would never ring, and I would never reach my goal unless I started calling and emailing people first. So I picked up the phone, and I made that first call on my list. I got through. I was terrified. But the conversation, it wasn't the disaster I imagined it might've been. The person I spoke with was polite and helpful. My delivery wasn't the smoothest, but it wasn't career ruining either. After just a handful of calls, I no longer felt like a fraud. I felt a little informed and even purposeful.

7:29 After many calls and emails, I did ultimately find candidates for my client, and I also began to develop my presence in a community of professionals that I would end up reaching out to over and over again in the coming years. I never again looked at the phone or my computer screen paralyzed with fear and self-doubt. I had proven to myself, with just one conversation, that I wasn't a fraud. Did I still get nervous when I started networking for a new client or was contemplating reaching out to a particularly important person? Sure. But I came to understand that even though I didn't know everything, I still had the opportunity to seek guidance from people who had more knowledge and experience than I did.

8:17 And they were ultimately happy and gratified to share it. If you've been meaning to start a networking effort, whether it's to find a new job or to strengthen connections in your professional community, don't let imposter syndrome hold you back. The longer your delay, the harder it will likely be to get started. Having just one conversation can break the cycle and allow you to prove to yourself that you're not a fraud. I hope the insights about networking that I'm going to share in this series, based on my experience as an executive recruiter will help you move past any fear, hesitancy or self-doubt that you might have.

8:58 Tune in again, when I share two proven strategies to help you get started on your own networking. And if you want to get started right away, I'll share a link to the entire Networking Strategy Series on my blog in the show notes. The time to reach out, it's now.